These Green-Leaf Nights [open]

[Jess]

Can't stand the days, but live for the nights. It was only on truly hot, practically unimaginably scorching days that one could be treated to weather as lovely as tonight's. The ground was still warm from the sun-high baking, however a cooler breeze sifted across the moor, so gently disturbing the grass that Fawnstep would muse that were that very grass alive, it shouldn't mind a bit. She smiled to herself, following a train of thought that only she could hold on to, and watched the grass with a sleepy expression.

She let out a little sigh, looking towards the horizon wistfully. She wanted to be out hunting on a night like tonight, with the sky so clear and the moon so visible. The crickets played their melancholy songs, but rather than making her sad, they relaxed her greatly. Hunting and playing out in the territory, away from camp, was the one thing she missed as a queen. Instead, she felt obligated to stay near the nursery, should any of her kits need something. Ever since meeting Firestripe, it sure seemed like she spent the majority of her time in that nursery...

Fawnstep frowned, shaking the thought loose with a quick flick of her head. She shouldn't think that way. Firestripe was such a great guy! And she loved that she had kits to take care of. Finally someone who would take her advice and warnings seriously, because they were more or less bound by the unspoken connection between mother and child.

Stretched out in order to take full advantage of the radiating heat from the ground, Fawnstep placed her chin gently between her paws, and just looked around for a while. She wanted to have another cat in the clan to talk to. For, as much as she absolutely loved her family, she got lonesome when she didn't have someone she wasn't related to to talk to. She wanted to hear stories and news and whatever gossip was currently making the rounds. Her eyes sought out a fellow she-cat, but she was willing to talk to anyone.

[♦ stormeh ♦]

Cedarfang let out a deep sigh as she aimlessly watched the clouds gently make their way across the sky, her figure sharply outlined by the contrast between her tabby pelt and the green grass underneath her. If only days were always like this, she blinked in content. She felt a tiny body wriggle in her swollen stomache and she glanced down at it, purring. At least, her days would always be like this. Looking up again, she picked up the faint scent of rabbit and she instantly rose to her paws, pinpointing the gray bundle of fur a far ways off. She bunched her muscles, but as if on cue, she felt another movement in her belly and she gradually relaxed.

As the rabbit disappeared over the hill, she felt a tiny hint of annoyance prickle through her fur. Why didn't she pelt after that prey? Times were tough; especially with leaf-fall approaching and with prey so scarce, the Clan could barely keep themselves healthy and strong. But how could she, when her belly was large and round with unborn kits? Cedarfang wasn't doubting the life she's chosen to share with Nightblaze, but sometimes she wished that she could do whatever she liked for just one day. Being cooped up in the nursery wasn't exactly how she pictured herself when she became a queen, but she figured it happened to all expecting she-cats.

With a yawn, the brown tabby rasped her tongue over her chest a few times before padding off in a slow, relaxed pace. Her mind was elsewhere by now, and her thoughts were bubbling around in her mind like bees in their beehive. You could say that the young queen was probably thinking about her future, her family, and her own personal life - which she was - but you couldn't always tell what was on her mind. Her mind was like the clouds; so far away, but so seemingly close that you could touch them if you reached up with your paws.

Cedarfang, lost in her own little world, hadn't noticed how far she had strayed from camp. Nightblaze would be worried for her by now, but he honestly needed to give her a well-earned break. Shortly afterwards, she was greeted by the fresh scent of her own Clanmate, and she perked her ears in curiosity. Maybe it was just a patrol. But the scent would be stronger if it was. Trotting onwards, she distinguished the shape of another cat at the bottom of the hill she was standing atop. Pressing onwards, Cedarfang realized with relief that that cat had been Fawnstep, a kind and respected queen known very well in the nursery and in the Clan.

"Fawnstep!" she purred cheerfully as she approached the brown tabby. Her pawsteps were light and soundless and her expression was friendly when she settled down beside Fawnstep, letting her body stretch out onto the ground along with small breath of effort. The trek had been far, and she was already exhausted. A nice chat with Fawnstep wouldn't hurt. "How have you been?" she smiled, the tip of her tail flicking back and forth.

[Jess]

Fawnstep closed her eyes for a moment, and let her mind truly wander. In her head, she could see herself, standing out on a hill, wind ruffling her fur dramatically. The sun was setting in this day-dream, painting the sky with brilliant streaks of orange and pink. Really, she was almost just a silhouette up on that hill... Her silhouette was surrounded by others, roughly her size but a little bit smaller, and with the curiosity that seemed so contradictory in exploring her own mind, she concentrated on those figures, until they came into focus as bigger versions of her own kits. Seven. All big and strong and healthy, warriors of her clan. She smiled, both in her dream and in real life. She'd have to see this through.

One cat was chasing down a rabbit with more ease than she'd seen any warrior do in a long time. Another two were tag-teaming a badger. One was with an apprentice, and she could tell from the reverence on the apprentice's face that he was learning from a master. Another padded by her with herbs, being careful not to damage them. Two others loped by, throwing smiles her way and greeting her before disappearing towards the border, no doubt to do something important. In her dream, she looked on at her family with pride, and as she did so, another figure appeared at her side. Firestripe. Her smile broadened. She just hoped for so much.

Hearing her name jarred her from her day-dream, and Fawnstep raised her head, blinking the forming sleep away from her eyes. Not much time had passed, she figured. What a lovely dream. If only one of those things could come true, I'd be the proudest cat around! she thought blissfully. Looking up, she strained her eyes a bit to see the actual cat on the actual hill, running towards her at that very moment. Why, it was Cedarfang, the young, expecting mother! She purred happily. Seeing new mothers was a treat for her. They always looked so excited, and yet so anxious, just like she had been when she was carrying her first litter.

"How have you been?" The other she-cat was on the ground, now, and sounded tired. Fawnstep took a moment to once again appreciate the warmth of the ground, and then answered with that very warmth, "I'm been well. A little... bored, at times, I guess, but all over today has been as good as usual." Well, that was just a little gross. She hated using words that dropped so harshly from the tongue, and sounded so ungrateful as the word bored. However, she hadn't been able to think of a substitute, and so a one time slip-up was easy to forgive. This time.

"How about you?" She smiled calmly, inviting confidence. "How are the kits?" Small-talk first, her mother had always advised. A sudden impulse to actually get up and do something couldn't be relieved yet, but she had always believed that good things come to those that wait. Perhaps, if the other she-cat was feeling up to it, they could take a walk, maybe even see if they couldn't find some prey in this desperately prey-poor green-leaf. Whatever Cedarfang wants, she reminded herself. New mothers deserve whatever they want.

[♦ stormeh ♦]

Cedarfang wasn't very surprised at the warmth and friendliness Fawnstep showed to her. She sometimes heard others talk about the brown tabby queen, but in a good way, often admiring her kindness and how supportive she was. She saw her around the nursery now and then, as well, but she never really got the chance to have a nice conversation with her. To think, Cedarfang was so social when she barely even knew one of the most respected queens in WindClan!

"I understand how you feel; time always seems to go by slower when there are limited things I could do," she agreed sympathetically, with a hint of longing in her voice. Fawnstep had brought back the thoughts from earlier of how she would've liked to join a patrol or help out Emberpaw with gathering herbs. She figured that every queen must get a little bit weary sometimes - and so did she. Cedarfang wondered quickly what Fawnstep did in her free time, but she didn't want to ask things that were too personal.

At the mention of her kits' well-being, her expression brightened and she couldn't help but let out an excited purr. "I guess I could say the same," she smiled warmly. "I think they're fine, sometimes I even forget they're there until one of them remuinds me with a nudge!" she purred in amusement. She felt a little disappiointed on the inside for saying something like that. How could she not know she was bearing kits? Maybe Fawnstep would understand that she was simply joking, which made her feel a little bit more confident.

Cedarfang went on, her voice sounding a bit more dreamy this time, "Sometimes... I wonder what they'll be like as they grow up. But I know that whatever happens in the end, they'll make me and Nightblaze proud." After a moment of letting her blissful thoughts warm her heart, she turned to look at Fawnstep once more, with a hopeful look in her eyes. "Have you ever felt like that with your kits?" she asked. She figured it was a mouse-brained question to ask, since Fawnstep was much more experienced to her, but she would've liked to confide in her. After all, Fawnstep was a bit like Cedarfang's idol.

[Jess]

Ah, yes, time was always slower when she was in the nursery, that was a fact. However, Fawnstep reminded herself, time passed faster than any other time in her life when she was watching her kits do what they do, or hearing about some recent adventure of her eldest two that always filled her with pride. She would never trade her life for one without them, just to be able to get out and do stuff again! She couldn't think of any part of her life where she was happier than now. Truly happier. She had been excited to become an apprentice and then to receive her warrior name, but both times the feeling had faded quickly. Here was a peculiar emotion, for it never faded completely, and left her with a warm feeling inside.

Fawnstep stifled an amused chuckle at Cedarfang's purr of excitement. She was a cat very tuned in to other's emotions, and couldn't help but act as almost a mirror to them. It was just thrilling to hear this cat talk like she did about her kits! In her opinion, no one could speak of their kits in the same way as they could speak of an, oh, especially fattened piece of prey, or a great battle, or something. Perhaps she was just adding it in in her mind, but it always seemed to her that when cats spoke of their kits, especially the mothers, it was with a gentleness that made her joyful. Kits truly were little miracles.

The part about forgetting they were there was curious to the elder she-cat, though. Well, to each her own, I guess, she thought to herself, realizing that she was endlessly comparing this she-cat's experience to her own. But she was in too good of a mood by then to even think ill thoughts on this other cat, and so she dismissed them easily. Besides, she had heard a little bit of amusement in her voice, perhaps she was only joking. Realizing that the smile had faded from her face, she reestablished it, just as it was before.

However, Cedarfang was going on, and, surprising to Fawnstep, speaking the very same words that she had been dreaming of earlier. "Have you ever felt like that with your kits?" Surprise, and then a genuinely excited expression marked her face. This was one of her favorite things to think about, in truth, even with two children already trying to make their marks on the world. "Of course!" she purred, recalling her dream anew. "I wonder all the time how they'll turn out, what they will choose for themselves! I did the same with Briarfoot and Brightflower, too, and they have turned out wonderful!" Pretty well. There were some parts that she was disappointed in, but she loved them so that she could forgive them with ease.

"I was just thinking about it when you came by," she continued happily. "I honestly can't even fathom exactly what they'll do in life, but I can hope that I have taught them enough and brought them up the right way so that they'll be respectable members of the clan. That's my job here; I make sure they start life out on the right paw, and hopefully be able to guide them as they grow up. It's just so rewarding to be a mother! I can think of nothing better." And she looked warmly again at Cedarfang, her smile almost too big for her mouth.

Then, even as she knew it might be a bit personal to ask, she dipped her head respectfully and questioned, "How are you feeling about being a soon-to-be mother? Do you have any concerns?"

[♦ stormeh ♦]

Inwardly, Cedarfang felt relieved that she had introduced a topic that Fawnstep would be interested in. She smiled as the older queen talked on about her kits. She sounded so happy and proud. I'll be like that, soon. As she listened, she agreed with her. She didn't know how her kits would turn out, but she'd try her best to set them on the right path, or, whichever path suits them. So, being a mother was the best thing that happened to Fawnstep, and hearing that from her gave her a boost of confidence.

As the brown queen suddenly dipped her head in a respectful gesture and asked a question that one would've considered as personal, Cedarfang simply dismissed the thought. Queens should be able to confide in each other, so why would a question like this be personal? As long as Fawnstep didn't form any negative thoughts in her mind - which, Cedarfang was sure she wouldn't - she'd be able to talk about, pretty much, anything with her.

With a bit of thought, she replied, "Well, I'm so excited! But, I can't help being nervous. I'm sure every queen has their doubts..." Cedarfang realized that Fawnstep must've gotton the wrong idea. Quickly, she added, "I mean, nervous about, well... the kitting." Without even meaning to, the tabby she-cat was beginning to think of everything that could possibly go wrong. "Anything can happen, and I just want my kits to be healthy when they're first welcomed to the world," she meowed, a hint of worry hanging on her words.

Cedarfang barely thought of her own health. It were her ktis that were more important, not herself. Thinking about such morbid thoughts such as dying during her kitting sent shivers down her spine, and a tingling sensation through her fur. But she wouldn't allow that to stop her from being happy and content with the life she'd chosen for herself and for Nightblaze.

[Jess]

"I mean, nervous about, well... the kitting." Nodding wisely, Fawnstep quietly agreed with the sentiment. She had felt nervous when she was carrying around soon-to-be Brightkit and Briarkit. She hadn't known what to expect when kitting, and even though she had heard about it being such a wonderful experience, she had also heard about the pain. And they were right, every single cat that advised her when she was a nervous first-timer. The pain was so quickly forgotten when one saw the cute little bundles at her side...

"Anything can happen, and I just want my kits to be healthy when they're first welcomed to the world..." Fawnstep heard the worry in her voice, and frowned a little. She didn't want the other to feel worry about it. After all, if she knew anything after her two litters, it was that worry will inevitably come every once in a while, and that the best thing to do about it was distract oneself until it went away. Left too long to fester, and worry could just make a queen go to pieces! At least, that's what she had seen in the nursery. She was still quiet, though, until she judged that Cedarfang was done talking.

"Oh, don't you worry, darling," she meowed softly, using the tone she had often used with Brightflower when she was a little one. That one was always fussing around, in her memory, but in a cute way. "Here, why don't we go for a walk? We can go over to Outlook Rock, if you'd like, and just admire the moor. It might be relaxing." She was a little antsy to get out and stretch her legs, herself. She wanted to climb and have a look-see... Sure, Outlook Rock wasn't really a cake-walk to climb, but the view was just breathtaking, and totally worth it.

Fawnstep was already moving to stand, relinquishing the warm earth for the cooler night air. It was a beautiful night to take a walk in, to be honest. She just hoped that nothing... unexpected would happen. It could. Unexpected things could always happen. However, she was more worried about cats carrying kits getting into unseen trouble than all other cats. Well, she would do what she could if they ran into anything. She was still a skilled warrior, just like any in the clan.

Oh, but now she was worrying too much. After all, what could happen on a nice stroll to Outlook Rock? Nothing much. So why did the night suddenly seem to give off such a foreboding feeling? She shook it off silently, and looked over at Cedarfang. Walks were good for any nervous cats, and they could continue talking while they did so. She smiled, trying to add a sense of security, and hoping that the uncertain feeling in the air was just her imagination.