(Storm) What we Once Had

[dylan]

Auburnstripe padded out of the tunnel of the camp, not caring to look if the rest of the hunting patrol was behind her. The other two cats were warriors, and had been for several moons. They could keep up by now. The russet colored she-cat was still refusing to talk or even look at Ashcloud. He had hurt her more than she cared to admit. Without someone to talk to, someone as a best friend, like Ashcloud had been, Auburnstripe had been ruthless. Her temper may have been bad before yesterday, but it escalated just after their encounter. The she-cat had snapped orders out to the clan, showing no emotion whatsoever. Usually she would at least attempt a smile or something on her face as she ordered the clan around. But not the past day, she had not asked cats to patrol, but demanded.

Her silver eyes looked around to see what they could find. She had sent patrols all over already today. The only place she knew no one had hunted was around Tallpines. Deciding quickly that is where they would head, she started on a brisk pace to the center of ThunderClan territory. Running was helping with her anger issues at the moment, but it still would not relieve all the stress. What she really needed was something she couldn't do. She would not apologize for anything she said. No, Auburnstripe was too stubborn for that.

Finally approaching their destination she skidded to a halt, and kneaded her paws in the ground. Taking a deep breath and scenting the air she detected the scent of prey. Good, they could bring back plenty for the clan. She noticed the warrior with her and Ashcloud had left, leaving just her and Ashcloud in the same area alone. What was that mousebrained warrior doing? Well, just as long as prey was brought back she didn't care. She could ignore Ashcloud and just hunt.

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[♦ stormeh ♦]

<sup>Ashcloud was determined to keep up with Auburnstripe's pace, but kept his distance from her. He decided to stick close to his other Clan mate, but when he glanced beside him, they were gone. Confused, he now felt more vulnurable than ever. Alone with a very angry she-cat - who was also the deputy of ThunderClan - wasn't a situtation he wanted to be in.

Ashcloud wanted nothing more than to apoligize, but this time Auburnstripe had gone too far. Did she really think that he was betraying her like her family had? After all the tough times they've been through, and yet she instantly turns against him despite their long friendship. It wasn't Ashcloud's fault; all he wanted is for Auburnstripe to be happy, and not be stressed with the weight of his problems.

Sighing, he felt a hollowness in his heart; a hole of emptiness where Auburnstripe had once been. Now she had torn herself away from him, leaving him to suffer the pain of her loss. Forgetting about his Clan mate, he followed Auburnstripe to Tallpines, trying to keep his senses alert, but failing miserebly. How could he get their terrible arguement out of his head? It was like Auburnstripe striking his heart with her claws.</sup>

[dylan]

She knew he was there, she could feel his presence, she always could. Auburnstripe knew their bond was strong, and it had been for a long time. It was bothering her how silent it was on this patrol. Usually the two of them would be joking and having so much fun. It seemed dead, like trying to find prey in the middle of leafbare. The deputy usually would not mind silence, if it were any other cat. But it wasn't any other cat, it was Ashcloud.

Finally breaking away from her thoughts she figured it would be best to get to hunting. Prey wouldn't be caught itself. Scenting the air for the best possible catch she heard the soft padding of a squirrel, and as she looked in the direction she scented it, sure enough there was the bushy creature. Choosing to not speak to Ashcloud and just go for the creature, she padded softly toward the squirrel. She quickly made her way toward it and pounced, landing on it just before it began to go up in the tree. Biting it quickly to end its life, she inspected her catch. This would feed possibly two apprentices. With such a large clan, more prey was a must.

Auburnstripe buried her squirrel, to preserve it for later. Hopefully they would find more than just the squirrel. With all the prey she scented, that would be highly possible.

[/size]

[♦ stormeh ♦]

<sup>Ashcloud watched as Auburnstripe stalked the squirrel, and almost cheered out a congratulations when she caught it. But no, he couldn't do that now. Auburnstripe had decided to throw those days away, and Ashcloud could hardley bare to think about them.

Deciding to at least try to catch some prey, he walked forward - careful not to get too close to Auburnstripe - and parted his jaws to breathe in any prey-scent. Pricking his ears, he pin-pointed a small mouse by the roots of a pine tree, and he automatically crouched down into the hunter's crouch.

Making a half-hearted leap, Ashcloud landed squarely on the mouse, and was about to strike it's throat, but then the memories flooded into his mind. It had been a sunny day, and Auburnstripe and Ashcloud were out hunting. They were close near Tallpines, and a mouse scurried right in front of Ashcloud and had scampered in between his legs. The sudden appearance made him shriek, and Auburnstripe had fell to the ground laughing histerically.

Suddenly, his memories left, and he was staring down at his paws; with no mouse to be seen. Oh, no.. he silently wailed, realizing that he had let the mouse escape while he drifted off into his happy memories. Feeling his ears grow hot in shame, Ashcloud didn't dare meet Auburnstripe's gaze, but he knew her eyes were most likely scorching into him like fire.</sup>

[dylan]

Auburnstripe was so engrossed with catching her squirrel that she had barely paid any attention to what Ashcloud was doing. For all she knew, he could possibly be back in camp by now. She probably should go and check on the other warrior in their patrol, but Auburnstripe had noticed Ashcloud was onto something.

The tom was stalking a mouse, and Auburnstripe decided to see just what he could do with one. She knew he could hunt, but she remembered a time when he was scared of one. He leaped, and Auburnstripe was impressed and on any other day would have congratulated him on his catch until just before making the killing blow, he stopped. What was the mousebrain doing? He was staring in another world or something.

This was one thing the she-cat couldn't keep to herself. It was one thing to be upset with him, but to do something like this. "Seriously? I've seen kits catch prey better than that. What in StarClan's name is wrong with your sorry pelt? How could you just sit there and stare at the mouse like it was just going to keel over and die just by looking at it?"

[/color] Auburnstripe fumed, her tail lashing out and making her way closer to the tom. [/blockquote][/blockquote][/size]

[♦ stormeh ♦]

<sup>Ashcloud braced himself for Auburnstripe's stinging words, but he instantly flinched and shrank to the ground like a kit that was getting scolded by it's mother. He stared at his paws, and felt his entire body grow hot in embarrassment and shame.

As Auburnstripe stalked toward him, he stumbled backwards, his heart pounding in his chest. There goes his emotiond again. With every word Auburnstripe spat at him, he grew closer and closer to simply breaking. This was worse than Shadeclaw's taunts, he realized, much, much worse. Ashcloud was on the brink of turning tail and fleeing, but he forced himself to stay where he was. "I'm sorry," he meowed quietly, his voice very close to being a whisper.</sup>

[dylan]

For some reason it felt good to have words come out of her mouth as she spoke to the tom. Maybe it was because the communication between them had been lacking, but it still felt good. Even if it was just to yell. She needed this. Auburnstripe was not going to back down, no that just wasn't the type of she-cat she was. The deputies fur was once again bristling in anger. This was so much like the day before. Her claws were unsheathing and sheathing themselves in the dirt, and her eyes were even beginning to narrow again.

And his response was only two words? That was pathetic. All he had to say was 'i'm sorry' what kind of answer was that? Well it wasn't one in her opinion. Growing up I'm sorry was never an option. She was not suppose to be sorry for anything, and was told to make sure to not get into situations where sorry is acceptable.

"You completely miss a mouse, which might I add I can understand a new apprentice doing but a cat who has been a warrior for almost ten moons? That's unacceptable. All you have to say is I'm sorry? That is the worst I have seen in moons. Be angry and silent talk me all you want, but when it interferes with you not being able to catch any prey then please, by all means, just get away! Why do you enjoy making me look bad?"

[/color] Auburnstripe glared at him, trying her best to steady her breathing.[/blockquote][/blockquote][/size]

[♦ stormeh ♦]

<sup>Auburnstripe's words struck Ashcloud's heart like an adder's bite, and with each heartbeat going by his mind grew more and more clustered with questions. What was he supposed to do now? He couldn't run away, not from Auburnstripe, and he especially couldn't just keep apoligizing so pathetically.

Though the deputy's last few words were the ones that shook Ashcloud to his core. He would never want to make Auburnstripe look bad! Taking a deep, shaky breathe, he forced himself to look up and into Auburnstripe's furious eyes. "Auburnstripe, you don't understand. I just.. I just never talk to you about my problems because.. I don't want to put stress on your shoulders, especially when you're the Clan deputy," he began, strangely getting angrier by the minute. Ashcloud didn't deserve to be treated like this for no reason at all. His voice grew sharper and stronger as he continued. "I don't want to be a burden to you b-because... because I love you!" he blurted out, his heart pounding against his chest.

Mind reeling, Ashcloud still didn't stop there. "I just want you to be happy, Auburnstripe. But now, you don't even trust me anymore? After everything we've been through together? I would never, ever want to hurt you." His golden eyes were clouded with uncertainty and anger, and even a hint of sadness, as he turned to leave.

His heart was beating as fast as a rabbit could run, and he didn't look back at Auburnstripe as he mindlessly trailed off in a random direction. He couldn't face her anymore, he realized, not after his confession. How could he? Auburnstripe hates him, and she'll never forgive him. But if she won't trust him, then he couldn't be friends with her anymore. It was just unbelievable, to just imagine that Auburnstripe questions his loyalty to her.

Sitting down by the roots of a tall tree, he hung his head and stared at his paws. Ashcloud felt hollow inside, and his mind was blank. How could he let this happen? For a long time, he sat there, ears pinned against his head and body unmoving.</sup>

[dylan]

Auburnstripe knew only one thing was for certain, her mother would be ashamed of her. It didn't matter to her, though. Her mother's opinion had stopped mattering when she met Ashcloud. The russet colored she-cat's fur was probably messy and unkept, she had other things to do than clean her fur. Originally she had been told that her pelt was never to be dirty, but that was quickly outgrown when she became an apprentice and realized her mother no longer owned her life. Becoming an apprentice had meant so much more to her than it did any other cat.

Standing here, criticizing and being angry with Ashcloud may have felt good, but deep inside it felt so wrong. Auburnstripe, deep down, was hating every moment of it. She didn't like being left out in the dark. It felt like Ashcloud was keeping things from her, and this is how her parents relationship had been. It was full of lies and hate, no one in her family truly got along. She did her best to break free of the mold, and be herself. Guilt still will soak into the she-cat from time to time, but with Ashcloud around she has gotten much better.

When Ashcloud finally began to speak, her eyes seemed to brighten, and her fur finally settled back into place. Her claws stopped their moment and she actually was paying attention. When he had said she didn't understand she scoffed. Well that was obvious. He kept repeating those words and they were becoming redundant and repetitive. What exactly was it that she was not understanding? Wait, he didn't want to tell her his problems because he didn't want to stress her out? Instead of interrupting to tell him she didn't mind, that even though she was the deputy she was still his friend, she continued to listen.

Then he had said those three words that could never be taken back. She froze as he spoke the words. He loved her? No one had ever loved her. Not even her parents. They had been too busy fighting with each other to love anyone. Her sister had fought for her parent's love, but that was something Auburnstripe didn't ever need. She was content with just being herself and playing with other kits. Who needed parents? She had friends, and her friend's mothers would be nice to her. But no one had actually loved her. She was at a complete loss for words at this moment. So she just stared at Ashcloud.

What was this emotion she was feeling? It was a sinking feeling deep in her chest and as she watched Ashcloud leave she shook her head. She couldn't let him do this. ”Wait, Ashcloud!”

[/color] she called softly, her voice not quite matching what she had hoped to say. Why was her throat so dry and why did she suddenly feel so awful? The guilt was eating her away. Running quickly she wanted to catch up with Ashcloud. She couldn’t just let him leave like that. ”Please don’t just walk away like that after saying something so big. You just left me there. And you know I don’t know what love really is. Think about my parents, I was never shown love or any emotion other than them pushing me out of their way. How am I suppose to react when someone tells me they love me? I don’t know what to say back, it was just so sudden and you just left me.”[/color] she breathed, out of breath from running. Auburnstripe made her way closer to the tom and brushed her fur against his. ”Please don’t shut me out like that again. I’m sorry I was so mean, I don’t know what I was thinking. It’s just you were keeping secrets and it reminded me of what it was like being a kit in the nursery. I guess I’m still not over that. And don’t worry about stressing me out. You are the one who keeps me grounded, and if I can help you by just listening to you that would mean everything to me. I would enjoy hearing your feelings. It would get me inside your head and make me see more about you.”[/color] the she-cat managed to say after catching her breath.

”If you really want me to leave you alone I will, but just know I think I love you too. I may not know what the word means, but I know what I feel. This past day without you I haven’t been myself and I know you are the reason behind it. I can’t think without having you to joke around with and spending the rest of my life as your mate would be an honor. That is if you can forgive me.” she mewed, hoping Ashcloud would forgive her for everything.
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[♦ stormeh ♦]

<sup>Ashcloud was quite surprised when he heard his name being called out by Auburnstripe as she caught up with him, but he kept his empty gaze fixed on the ground. Why did she come back? It's not like he's going to apoligize again.

But when she began to speak, he was even more surprised that her words came out calm and.. was that, guilt? He knew that he shouldn't had just left her there, but he didn't know what else to do after confessing his feelings for her. Ashcloud didn't have the courage to speak up, after being so harshly beaten down, and kept quiet. Suddenly, a warm sensation flooded through the right side of his body and he barely looked beside him to find none other than Auburnstripe.

Ashcloud listened quietly as his friend explained, and every word she said was thought over carefully in his mind. He never meant to shut her out, it was just that he was a very sensitive cat, and he needed time to recover after their arguement. He sniffed as she got to the part where he was "keeping secrets" from her. Well, okay, maybe he wasn't consulting in her, but that wasn't keeping secrets. Okay, maybe it was, Ashcloud realized guiltily. Ashcloud brightened a bit when Auburnstripe said that she'd listen to him, and that she'd enjoy hearing his feelings.

Though when she finished, his body went stiff. Had he heard her right? Maybe he should clean his ears? But no, Ashcloud heard Auburnstripe perfectly well. Even if she added the, "I think" part, that still made him more happy than he'd ever been before, even more than when he first met Auburnstripe. All the sadness and confusion in his eyes vanished as he lifted his gaze from his paws, and were now filled with hope and joy. "You.. you would do that..? For me?" he breathed, his voice almost inaudible.

Ashcloud had had the perfect life as a kit, and even still as a warrior. Perfect parents, perfect friends, and a perfect life. He had always been loved as a kit, and was always cheerful and happy. To hear now that Auburnstripe would want to be his mate, was astonishing. Their lives were so different, and Ashcloud knew that Auburnstripe would've gaven anything to have a happy family like his. Then, he realized, that Auburnstripe would be his mate, and listen to his problems, and comfort him when he was distressed. "I forgive you," The words seemed so difficult to speak, but they came out easily once he'd said it.</sup>

[dylan]

"Ashcloud, I would do anything for you. You have been the one thing in my life that hasn't been awful. You have been my constant and well you are just you. You don't know how much you mean to me."

[/color] Auburnstripe confessed. She pressed herself deep into his fur and managed to relax. "I think you just being here has made me get rid of my stress."[/color] she chuckled.

A sigh of relief passed through her body. He had forgiven her, and she was happy. For once Auburnstripe had found happiness, and she knew their relationship would be nothing like her parents. "Just promise me we won't fight all the time and know that if I'm mad, it's not at you."[/color] she mewed softly.
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[♦ stormeh ♦]

<sup>Ashcloud released a breath he didn't know he was holding, and felt his ears grow hot as Auburnstripe pressed herself into his ash-colored fur. Her familiar, warm scent drifted into his nose, and he closed his eyes for a moment before re-opening them and gazing down at his friend - no, his mate.

"I promise," he breathed, hesitating for a few moments before gingerly twining his tail with Auburnstripe's. Suddenly, a snicker sounded from behind them, and Ashcloud jerked away from Auburnstripe and turned around to face the one cat that he would never had wanted to be there at that moment.

"Aww, don't get up! I was enjoying the little romantic comedy you two were performing for me," Shadeclaw taunted, a twisted grin spreading across his face as he padded around Auburnstripe and Ashcloud in a tight circle. Ashcloud felt his face heating up, and he began to shrink back down to the ground like he had done earlier in camp that day. He could feel his chest tighten, and his mouth dry in dismay.

"What's wrong Asher? Cat got your tongue?" The words "cat" and "tongue" were emphasized, and broke the crisp air around them. Ashcloud remained silent, unable to speak, and almost forgot that Auburnstrupe was beside him.</sup>

[dylan]

Auburnstripe looked at him for a moment and could see the love in his eyes. And it was all for her. It made her heart swell with pride that she was the cause for his love. He loved her and he had told her. Who would have thought someone would have loved her, someone like Ashcloud. But the feeling was something she could get used to and actually enjoyed it. His warm fur was so comforting and reassuring, like everything in her life would finally fall into place.

He had promised her, and that meant everything to her. Those two words was reassuring her more than anything. She just hoped he could keep that promise, but she had a feeling he could and this would be a much better relationship with Ashcloud than her parents had. The tail twining thing had shocked her at first and she didn't know what to think. Her parents she had never seen do this, was this what mates did? She actually enjoyed this feeling. The feeling only lasted a brief moment before she felt Ashcloud jerk away.

Oh, it was only Shadeclaw. Auburnstripe didn't see why Ashcloud was so scared. But she could guess from the tom's words. What was with the cruel remarks. When she was being circled she rolled her eyes. "I'm guessing nothing in your pathetic excuse for a life is fascinating enough to ignore other cats being happy."

[/color] she snared at Shadeclaw.

Narrowing her eyes as he continued to mock her new mate her fur bristled in annoyance. "Say anything more to him and your eyes will be clawed out."[/color] she hissed before tackling him. "Don't ever talk to him like that again. Not only can I make your life miserable as his mate, but as your deputy."[/color] she added.[/blockquote][/blockquote][/size]

[♦ stormeh ♦]

<sup>Ashcloud felt encouraged as Auburnstrips stood up for him, but he was still too nervous to say anything in his defense. Shadeclaw however, was enjoying every heartbeat of it.

"Oh really?" he scoffed, raising a brow incredulously. Was this she-cat actually challenging him? Before he could say anything else though, the wind was knocked out of him as he was thrown to the ground. Lips drawn back in a snarl, he struggled to release himself from Auburnstripe's grip. "Just wait 'till I tell Hawkstar about this!" he spat, kicking out powerfully with his hind legs and throwing Auburnstripe off.

Hissing in anger, Shadeclaw stalked off into the undergrowth, tail lashing furiously before he vanished. Ashcloud instantly rushed up to Auburnstripe, and prodded her gently in the side with a paw. "Auburnstripe, are you alright?" he asked nervously, eyes wide with worry.</sup>

[dylan]

Auburnstipe held on for as long as she could, but unfortunately in this case size did matter...added to the fact she really didn't want to hurt him. He did seemed surprised, though. When she was flung off, her paws slipped to the ground and she tumbled, knocking the wind somewhat out of her. Yeah, you go and tell Hawkstar you mousebrain. See what he says, and see who he believes. she thought. At least she had defended her mate, that was all that mattered.

She snapped from her trance when she heard the familiar sound of Ashcloud's voice. "I'm fine. You should have told me about him. He will never mock you again."

[/color] she hissed, still a bit angry at what Shadeclaw had said. "No one will ever hurt you, I will make sure of that."[/color] Auburnstripe added, meaning every word. Getting to her paws she shook off her pelt and licked her paws, then began to clean her face a little. "Now I'm completely dirty. This will be fun explaining to my mother."[/color] she chuckled. There was no way she was going near her mother to be criticized. [/blockquote][/blockquote][/size]